Farting Words of Wisdom

Fart Alert (Photo Credit: Noveltieswholesale)
Fart Alert (Photo Credit: Noveltieswholesale)

Do farts indicate health status?

Most people know nothing about farts and flatulence; except that they do them everyday!  Isn’t it time we learn some truth – the fun and easy way? So, here are some fart trivia and hopefully, we get some tips about how to fart better (if there are any!)

Fart  Alert  (Photo Credit:  Noveltieswholesale)
Fart Alert (Photo Credit: Noveltieswholesale)
  • Fart,  Flatulence or Intestinal gas – all  refer to gases produced within the digestive tract.
  • Fart originated from the Middle English words farten, ferten, or feortan.
  • Every single person farts.  (Even the dead sometimes fart shortly after dying.  Only a hypocrite will insist that they never fart.)
  • Eating also swallows air with their food.  Air contain gases such as nitrogen and oxygen, then later in the digestive process more gases are produced like hydrogen, carbon dioxide and methane.  Altogether, they come out as farts.
  • Most gas originates from swallowed air. (The more we eat, the more we talk, the more we swallow?  Sleeping with open mouth attracts more air especially if you are using electric fans and you happen to be a snorer?  Sounds likely.)
  • Swallowed air is composed mostly of gases that are odorless; but they may become contaminated with other stinky components (hydrogen sulfide and ammonia) while on their way to the intestines and comes out with a smell that stinks.
  • The farting sounds are caused by the vibrations of the anal opening and depends on the velocity of expulsion of the gas and the tightness of the sphincter muscles of the anus.
  • Farts from swallowed air usually come out loud, bubbly, and long; the kind which produces better sound, sometimes musical, especially from the fart experts!  (This is best fart because you are warned to run away fast!)
  • Farts are colorless.  (Whew!  Good thing!  Less detectable source.)
  • Fart gases are also produced as a by-product of taking in certain kinds of food that cause flatulence.
  • Blame these for those longer farts:  sweet potato, onions, garlic and beans  – the  Flatulence-producing foods,  high in certain polysaccharides which are  complex carbohydrates.
  • Cauliflower, broccoli,  cabbage, eggs, meat – are the culprits for strong smell and increased deposits of intestinal gas
  • Half a liter of fart gas per day is produced by a person and distributed more or less in fourteen parts on the average.  (If held on, farts may be  fewer but definitely longer!)
  • How fast fart travels lies heavily on atmospheric conditions and takes more than ten seconds to invade other breathers.  (Good thing it doesn’t travel at the speed of sound. Otherwise, we’d be smelling the stink as soon as we hear the fart!)
  • Silent but deadly farts are those which are warm, low-sounding and are caused by bacterial fermentation in the digestive tract.  (Having a perfume spray handy is best weapon for bacterial farts!)
  •  Farts disperse as soon as they get out of the anus and dilutes easily in open air.  (So be careful not to fart in any enclosed area so as not to be easily identified as the culprit!)
  • Men enjoy farting more than women, according to survey.  Men seem to fart more often than women; probably only because women tend to save it up, holding it as much as possible.  (Result:  Women expel more gas per fart serving.)
  • Early morning fart is called “morning thunder”; gas accumulated during the night vent out its anger right after sitting on the king’s throne.
  • Fart art” and “skid marks” are terms given to fart with small poop component; often times indicating threatening diarrhea.
  • Notorious fart-makers are topped by beans, corn,cabbage, milk, raisins, bell peppers and turnips.
  • Those who have mastered the art of holding their fart during the day generally fart much as soon as they fall asleep and their bodies are more relaxed.  (Which means only those who are wide awake can hold their farts!)
  • Anxious people tend to have fast-moving bowels and fart more.  (So, nervous people fart more?)
  • Riding a plane can cause gas in the intestinal tract to expand and make you fart.  (Not a parked plane, mind you!)
  • Chew with your mouth closed to have lesser farts (and lesser pig sounds); eat  slowly and avoid gulping your food or drinks.
  • Smoking, sucking on candies and carbonated drinks causes more farts.
  • Are burps and farts the same?  Definitely, no.  (They have different doorways, remember?  Stink from mouth is bad breath!)
  • Holding your fart won’t poison your system, but it can cause a stomach ache from the gas pressure or worse,  pathological distention of the bowel if you hold back your farts too much.
  • Some farts hurt when you force them out or when your sphincters are tight.
  • Take note that farting is usually the  body’s warning sign that you have to take the trip to the washroom soon, so make sure  you’re home  as much as possible, or near a toilet if you’re away from home.
  • Generally, farting is totally normal, and it’s  rarely ominous that intestinal gas is a sign that something is wrong with your body.
  • Yes, farts can be ignited! The presence of methane and hydrogen makes it possible. (But don’t you dare try because curiosity harmed those who did!)
  • Almost all animals fart:  dogs, cats, mice, insects, elephants, fish, etc.  Exceptions are the jellyfish, sponges and some kinds of worms because they have no guts (stomach and abdomen).  Anything that take in food and plop out waste products are susceptible to farting.

Fart Alert:

Fart Alert  (Photo Credit:  Memebee)
Fart Alert (Photo Credit: Memebee)

It is not very common, but some people build up excess gas which cannot be expelled easily through farting, and when accumulated may cause symptoms like belching, abdominal bloating, pain and discomfort.

Some cases revealed  fructose sensitivity wherein eliminating sugar and artificial sweeteners in their diet made their frequent farting drop to normal volume.  Likewise, others may be so sensitive with gluten, yeast and dairy which also cause too frequent farting.  In another case, bacteria from poor digestion of food in the small intestine might just be the culprit.

Farting 10 to 20 times a day is still considered relatively normal, but passing more than that may indicate a problem with digesting carbohydrates or another health condition.  It would do well to consult your doctor if you experience  severe, prolonged or recurrent pain in your abdomen or when  farting is so persistent or severe that it interferes with your normal life routines.

A last fart truth:  People laugh or chuckle or smile when someone farts.  Why?  I can’t really say.   I don’t really know.  However, just talking about it already makes me laugh!

Do you know why?

 

 

Web Sources:

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html

http://www.davidstuff.com/humor/farts.htm

Does Eating Sweet Potato Make You Fart?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fart

http://kidshealth.org/kid/talk/yucky/fart.html

http://www.fartmart.com/pages/Farting-FAQ.aspx

http://ehealthforum.com/health/unable-to-pass-gas-t160751.html

http://ehealthforum.com/health/flatulence_symptoms-e537.html

 

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