You know how they say that most girls have their hair cut after a break-up (myself included)? Some people I know would use their recent break-up as an excuse to binge and let themselves go – they type who would horde on chips and do wailing marathons while downing a pint of ice cream alone with cheese balls or potato chips hidden somewhere in their unkept hair. Or some would just stay in bed, alternately crying and sleeping, forgetting the world and wishing the world will forget them (harsh!).
That may seem ok for a week or two, or maybe even a month, but heck, life has to move on, and so should you. Acknowledge and honor the relationship by mourning it at an acceptable time, but give yourself some respect. You still have a life and work to return to. You may be happier (or so you think) when you were with your partner, but you’ve survived all the years before he/she came along, so most likely, you’ll do just fine without a partner in the picture.
Being single (again!) does not reflect what or who you are as a person, it probably just doesn’t mean that you have not found the right person yet. Instead of sulking and constantly winging out dates, why not use your time alone to further improve yourself , meet new friends and eventually find the one?
Don’t wait for the mood to come over you, take one action and then take another. You have all the time to do the following:
Think of something you can do physically that is completely in your control like being conscious of your health, getting stronger, losing or gaining weight, lowering your cholesterol level. Being able to attain one of these will help restore a sense of control over your life with or without a partner in your life. Exercising or engaging in a physical activity does not necessarily mean that you’re trying to lose weight. Trainers and dietitians actually recommend exercising to gain weight. The type of exercise will determine whether you actually lose weight or not. Low impact exercises like swimming, cycling and yoga will make you still burn a few calories, but the amount of stress placed upon the joints of your knees, hips and ankles is relatively minimal. You are still able to do a cardiovascular exercise, without putting high amounts of weigh on certain body parts.Low impact exercises will help you gain weight you burn less calories but would, just the same, make you hungrier, making you eat more.For some, exercising gives you a feeling of entitlement. At the end of a work out, you get so psyched into rewarding yourself.
If you want to lose weight, then do high impact exercises such as running, jumping jacks, skipping and plyometrics wherein both of your feet are off the floor at the same time and more muscles of your body are working against the force of gravity in high-impact exercise. High impact exercises tend to be more intense and can make you burn more calories because they load the bones and joints of your spine, hips, knees and ankles, structures necessary for locomotion.
Take up a new hobby. Learn a new music instrument or start reading a new book. Learn a new skill. Don’t make yourself idle to avoid going back to pains of lost love.
Spend time with your family and friends. If you have the tendency to do self-deprecate when alone, then don’t spend too much time alone. Hang out with friends or make new ones, confide to your friends or volunteer go to coffee with someone you can talk to, or do volunteer work. You will need time alone to find yourself but don’t isolate yourself. You need all the support you can get to heal.
Take your time. Don’t make rushed decisions specially when they involve major decisions like moving to a new place, buying a new car or relocating to a new job. If such changes had been planned even before the break up, then go ahead and do so, but if the major changes are merely ways of avoiding your feelings, then hold your horses because you might just regret them in the future. Don’t rush into a new relationship either, specially if you know that you’re not over your last partner yet. Rebound relationships rarely end into ever lasting love.
Love will come again, and hopefully, since you’ve learned a lot from the last time, the next time should be better.